


A Family to Help You Through

by 3_is_a_magic_number



Series: The Life and Times of Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Garvez - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Family Feels, Injury, Injury Recovery, partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3_is_a_magic_number/pseuds/3_is_a_magic_number
Summary: Phil is abducted by the Crimson King. Penelope and Luke are called in to help to find him, their toddlers come along for the ride.This story is Garvez through and through. It's about them coming together as family to help Luke through his hard time.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Series: The Life and Times of Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825984
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	A Family to Help You Through

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place a little over a year after 'Waiting'.

Luke’s been super stressed on a case he’s working and Phil is out on assignment. He’s been preoccupied for the last couple of weeks. He’s absentmindedly stirring dinner, staring into space when I come to stand beside him.

“Are you okay?” I ask, Luke startles. “Sorry.” I immediately say, taking a step back.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just work.”

“Do you want to talk about it? In broad strokes of course.”

“I already told you that Phil’s out on a mission right now, I’m handling the case from here. The more I read about this guy and his methods….the more I get a bad feeling. I’m sure it’s nothing, Phil’s been doing this for a while, he knows what he’s doing.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, wrapping my arm around his waist and rubbing his back. “Do you still wish you were out there with him?” I ask.

“No, not usually. There’s just something about this one.”

“Can you see if you can get assigned out to wherever he is for a while?” I ask.

“I made a commitment to be here for you and the boys. I’ll just have to trust his new partner.”

“I know how much Phil means to you. I’m sure you made a commitment to him, too.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll think about it.” He kisses my head and says. “Thank you.”

I hear a crash and run off to see what the boys have gotten into.

The next night, Luke doesn’t come home in time to read to the boys. I read them their nightly story and put them to bed. I go to our bedroom and call him, once I’m sure they’re asleep.

The phone rings for a while, before he answers. “Luke, is everything okay?” I rush out as soon as he answers.

“I’m fine.” He rushes to assure. “There’s been a development in my case. Phil’s gone missing.”

“Oh my gosh, Luke.” I gasp.

“I’ll be here for another couple of hours, at least. I’m sorry Penelope. I missed putting the boys down, didn’t I? I completely lost track of the time.”

“Yeah, they’re asleep now, it’s okay. You do what you have to do to bring Phil back safe.” I say.

“But this isn’t what you signed up for. I let the boys down and I’m probably not going to be home before you go to sleep.”

“Luke, It’s fine. This is what I signed up for. You were in the Fugitive Task Force when we met, this isn’t new. This is a big part of who you are, that you’ve put aside for me and our boys, but now Phil needs you. So, you do whatever you need to do, just make sure you come back to us safely.”

Luke is quiet for a while, before taking a deep breath. “Thanks, Penelope. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I love you.”

“I love you too, goodnight.”

Luke comes home at some point after I’ve gone to sleep. He climbs in bed and kisses my shoulder. I turn in his arms and bury my face in his bare chest before drifting back off to sleep. His side of the bed is empty when I get up. I can hear laughter and Tony doing his morning ‘banana chant.’ I get up, shower and dress, knowing Luke has the boys. 

“Morning.” I say, cuddling up behind Luke, giving him a kiss on his still bare back. “Did you sleep at all?” I ask. Luke finishes breaking up Leo’s pancake, before turning in my arms and kissing me.

“I got about 4 hours.” Luke says.

“Not the best.” I say. “But I’ll let it slide, you’ve got a lot going on. Any news?”

“No.” Luke says, pulling away and plating up some pancakes and fruit. He hands it to me, I give him a kiss. “I’m going to go in for a little while, later this morning.” Luke says, looking down. I nod, but I don’t think he sees, as I start to eat my pancakes. He finally looks up at me and rushes out. “I know it’s Saturday and weekends are supposed to be for us to spend with the boys, I won’t be gone too long.”

“Luke!” I cut him off, laying a hand on top of his. “It’s fine, you go in and do what you have to do, stay as long as you need to, we’ll still be here.”

Late morning, I’m playing in the backyard with the boys and Roxy, when I get a call from Aaron Hotchner.

“Hello?” I answer, cautiously.

“Hello, Penelope.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not sure how much Luke has told you about what’s going on with Phil Brooks.”

“I know, he’s missing.”

“That’s why I’m calling you. Time is of the essence for us to locate him. We could use your technical skill to help us.”

“You’ve got to have other analysts.” I scoff.

“We do. Many, in fact, but none as good as you.”

“I’ve got two toddlers here at home. I’m not sure how I could help, even if I wanted to.”

“My team and I are in Tempe Arizona right now. I’ll send the jet for you, Luke and the boys. JJ is here and has already said that she is more than willing to help take care of Anthony and Emilio. We’re all here to help out in any way we can.”

“I’m going to need to talk to Luke before I make a decision.” I say, feeling overwhelmed by all this.

“Please, do so quickly. Thank you.” Aaron says, before hanging up.

I entice the boys inside for a snack, trapping them in their highchairs while I call Luke.

“Luke, I just got a call from Aaron.”

“Yeah, I just got off the phone with him, he told me about the proposal. What do you think?” Luke asks.

“I don’t know. I love Phil and want to help, but is it crazy to drag our one year olds cross country?”

“A little.” Luke says. “But I don’t know what the alternative is. Phil needs the both of us. Hotch has a really nice team, I think that any of them would be more than happy to occupy Leo and Tony. I’m probably going, I would like it if you came too. Whether you choose to work or not, I think I’m just going to need you.”

“Okay.” I say. “Just let me pack a bag for everyone.”

“I’ll meet you at home in a half an hour. There’s no time for Hotch to send the BAU jet, the F.B.I. will send us on another plane.”

“Do you need me to pack a bag for you?” I ask, before we hang up.

“No, I’ve got a go bag from my man hunter days, still here.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

I put the boys in their cribs with some books, while I pack up our bags. I’m playing with the boys in the nursery when Luke walks in.

I get up to hug him and Luke immediately says. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” I ask, putting my hands on the sides of his face.

“Sorry for getting you guys into this. Sorry that I’m too weak to handle this on my own. Sorry that I need you so much that it means dragging our kids across the country.” Luke says with glassy eyes.

“They’ll be fine Luke. It’ll be an adventure for them. I’m glad that you told me honestly how you feel and what you need, that’s not a weakness.” I pull him into a hug for a few minutes. “Are you okay?” He nods.

“Let’s get going.”

Luke leans down and picks up Emilio who has his arm curled around Luke’s leg. I go and grab Tony, who’s trying to scale the bookshelf. He starts to shriek and flail.

“Look who’s here.” I say to him. He stops and looks around. “Papa.” He says, reaching out to him.

Luke takes him, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “No climbing the bookshelf and you be nice to Mama.” He says. Tony shakes his head no. “Give Mama kisses, to say sorry.” Anthony reaches for me and gives me a big wet kiss on the lips. Luke and I share a smile. I grab my bag and Luke grabs the boy’s bags and we head downstairs. Luke takes Tony from my arms and goes out to get them loaded. I get the lunch bag of food I packed for the boys, their diaper bag and say goodbye to Roxy, before walking out to the car.

6 hours later, we’re walking into the Tempe, Arizona field office. The flight went pretty well, we gave the boys bottles for takeoff, a luxury they don’t get during the daytime. They fell asleep and slept through most of the flight. Aaron meets us after we go through security.

“Glad you guys made it here so quickly. Thank you for coming. We’ll meet the team and get you caught up.” We walk into the bullpen and I see JJ, she waves us over to a conference room in the back. Once we’ve made it to the conference room, Luke puts the diaper bag down in a chair and I set the lunch bag down on the table, Aaron introduces us. “Everyone, you all remember Luke. This is his wife, Penelope Garcia-Alvez, and these are their sons, Emilio and Anthony.” Emilio lays his head on Luke’s shoulder and Anthony is looking around, trying to squirm out of my arm. I reach in the lunch bag and pull out a banana, hoping that will keep him happy for a little while. 

“So, this is the infamous, Penelope Garcia, huh?” A beautiful, bald man asks.

I smile. “I don’t know about infamous, but pretty damn great.” He shoots me a dazzling smile.

Hotchner continues. “This is Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid, David Rossi and you already know JJ.”

“Nice to meet you all.” I wave.

“Alright, let’s get to work.” Aaron says. “Have you decided, Mrs. Garcia-Alvez if you will help.”

“Yes, I will. I just need to get them settled.” I say. “And please, you can call me Penelope or Garcia, you don’t have to deal with the mouthful of calling me Garcia-Alvez every time.”

JJ walks over to Leo.

“Do you want to come with me, little man?” Derek Morgan asks, talking to Tony.

Tony looks at me. “It’s okay, you can go play with him. Mama will see you soon.” I say, giving him a kiss. I hand him over as well as the rest of his banana. Luke talks to Emilio quietly for a few minutes, before giving him a kiss and handing him over to JJ. I dig in the lunch bag and pull out blueberries for Leo, cheese and sippy cups for the both of them. I watch them leave the room, feeling sad. Luke comes up beside me and rubs my back.

“They’ll be okay.” He says, kissing my forehead.

“I know.” I say, resting my head on his arm.

“Alvez, I’ll have you work with Dave and Reid on the profile.” Aaron says in an authoritative tone. Luke gives me a kiss, before walking out with the two men.

Hotchner hands me an F.B.I. folder and says. “Garcia, I’ll have Prentiss show you to the tech lab here.” Prentiss smiles at me, she starts to lead me through the bullpen.

“Your sons are adorable.”

“Thank you.” I say, beaming.

We make small talk until she leads me into a room with a wall of monitors.

“So, we have a general idea of where Phil went missing, we need you to check all the footage in the area of his disappearance and the disappearances of the other 3 victims. We’re looking for any connections you can find.” Prentiss says. “Oh, and Hotch told me to give you this.” She says reaching into her back pocket. I take the items and look at them. A temporary F.B.I. i.d. and I unfold the piece of paper. It’s a list of government clearance i.d. numbers and a few searches that Hotchner wants me to complete.

“Thank you.” I say. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

Prentiss smiles and leaves the room and I get to work. It doesn’t take me long to get used to the system. I find some footage of the second abduction that leads me down a rabbit hole. I save everything I find and am looking for footage of Phil’s abduction when Luke and Hotch walk in. Luke has a sleeping Leo on his shoulder. He holds Leo tighter and leans down to give me a kiss.

“How’s it going?”

“Good. I found some footage of the second victim’s abduction. Looks like he knew his attacker. They were seen walking to his car together, when his attacker drugged him as he got into the car.”

“That doesn’t make sense for Phil, he knows who we’re after, he wouldn’t become friendly with the unsub.”

“Well, here’s the thing, the person doing the drugging is not the same person doing the killing. At least that’s what it looks like from the photo you gave me of the guy we’re after.”

“Well that adds another layer, we didn’t account for.” Hotchner says.

“Oh, I think this is the footage of Phil’s abduction.” I say. “This is from a hotel across the street from the gas station where he was taken.” You can sort of make out, someone bumping into Phil. Phil gets back to his car, braces his hands on the hood and shakes his head. A different man comes up and helps an almost passed out Phil into the back seat of his car. “Here’s the gas station footage.” I say.

Before the man drives away, he looks right up at the camera and smiles.

“That son of a bitch.” Luke almost spits, causing Leo to stir.

“He knows we’re onto him. He may even know that Phil is law enforcement.” Hotchner says.

“I’ll send you what I’ve found so far and see what more I can find, sir.”

“Thank you, Garcia, good work.” Hotchner says, before leaving the room.

“How are you and the boys doing?” I ask, eyes still on the computer screen, fingers still typing away.

“I’m doing okay, feeling antsy. JJ took Tony back to the hotel to sleep. Leo was okay with her and Morgan for a while. He started hysterically calling for you after a couple hours.”

“Has it been that long?” I ask, looking at my watch. It’s 1 in the morning, Virginia time. “You two should go to the hotel too.” I say.

“I’m not leaving.” Luke forcefully asserts. “He can sleep on my shoulder. How are you doing? Do you want me to find you some food or anything?” Luke asks, massaging my shoulder.

“That feels really good.” I say, hands stilling and closing my eyes for a couple of minutes. I continue with my search and say. “Yeah, I am kind of hungry, whatever you can find would be great. Thank you.” Luke works the other shoulder for a few minutes before saying.

“I’ll go see what I can find.”

4:00 in the morning, I find a couple of possible locations. Luke brings me Leo and I kiss him and tell him to be safe. Hotchner splits up the team and they head out to both. They clear the first location and find nothing. The second, I can hear them clear a couple rooms, Luke and Morgan head upstairs. I hear gunfire and my heart stops, praying that Luke is okay. I can hear a scuffle and I can hear Morgan saying.

“Come on, Alvez, let me arrest him. Go check on your partner.” Luke starts screaming for an ambulance. I’m trying hard not to sob uncontrollably, because there’s a sleeping toddler on my chest.

“Come on man, you’re gonna be okay. I’m sorry I didn’t have your back.” I can hear Luke say. I take a few deep breaths to calm down. I can hear the EMT come in, trying to get Luke to move so that they can get to Phil.

“Luke, sweetie, let them take care of him.” I say, finally remembering that I can talk to him. “How bad is he?” I ask.

“Bad.” He says.

“Are you going to ride with him to the hospital?” I ask.

“Yeah.” He says.

“Let me know which hospital and I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay.”

Hotchner drives me and Leo to the hospital. I leap out as soon as we get there and go in search of Luke. He and the rest of the team are in the waiting room.

“Have you heard anything?” I ask. Luke shakes his head, looking like he’s barely holding it together. I take him by the hand and lead him into a more secluded area, I don’t think he wants those guys to see him break down. I immediately wrap my arms around him and he sobs on my shoulder for a long while. I just rub his back and let him get it all out. He starts to quiet, sniffling.

He lifts his head and asks. “Where’s Leo?”

“He stayed asleep on the way here. I left him in the car with Aaron, he said he would drive around for a little while to keep him sleeping and to give us a little time. Are you gonna be okay?” I ask, wiping at his tears.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” Luke says sniffling. “Thanks for being here with me, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Always.” I say.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and splash some water on my face. I’ll meet you back in the waiting room.” Luke says, kissing me a couple times. I nod, we part ways. 

When I get back to the waiting room, Emilio is in Hotch’s arms, holding his blanket. He sees me and immediately reaches out. I take him, thanking Aaron. Luke comes back a few minutes later and sits next to me. He takes Emilio and he snuggles up to his chest. He puts his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

2 hours later we’re given an update, Phil is out of surgery. Luke and I can go back and see him when he wakes up.

An hour later, we get word that he’s awake. I send Luke ahead while I talk the boys into going with JJ. Derek volunteers again, to go with JJ and the boys. They head to the cafeteria to find some food. 

I’m about 10 to 15 minutes behind Luke, I walk into the room and am frozen in the doorway by what I see and hear. Phil and Luke each have an arm wrapped around each other, Luke has his face buried in Phil’s neck and they’re both crying. I take a step back out of the room. I’ll just let them have their time together, I’m sure it’s what they both need. I sit in a family waiting room, closer to Phil’s room and wait for Luke to come out.

A little while later, I catch Luke as he’s walking past.

“Hey, how’d it go?” I ask.

“What happened to you? I thought you were coming into see Phil, I was just coming to find you.”

“I came back, you and Phil looked like you could use some time alone.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He says. I pull him down to sit beside me.

“So?”

“Cullen pretty much disemboweled him, he’s also paralyzed from the waist down. They don’t know if it’s permanent or not. I feel like I let him down, if I had been here to back him up, none of this…” Luke’s breath hitches and he trails off. I pull him into a hug.

“You didn’t let him down. We don’t know if things would have turned out the same with you here. Either way, we can’t change the past. I know you’re going to do everything in your power to be there for him and help him through it.” I say. “Do you want to go back in and see him?” Luke nods and wipes his eyes.

We spend about an hour visiting with Phil before I turn to Luke and say.

“I should go check on the boys.” I stand up, he makes a move to get up as well. I put my hand on his shoulder. “You stay. I’ll take the boys back to the hotel, spend some time with them, I’m sure they’re confused. Stay as long as you want, come join us when you’re ready.” We kiss and I say goodbye to Phil.

Everyone is gone except JJ when I return to the waiting room. She’s sitting there with Leo, who immediately reaches for me. JJ stands and hands him over.

“Where’s Tony?” I ask, hugging Emilio.

“Running around with Morgan. Wow, that boy has a lot of energy.” She says.

“You’re telling me.” I snort.

“How is he?” JJ asks, raising her chin.

“Which one?” I ask.

“I guess both of them.”

“Phil is in pretty bad shape, I imagine he’ll be in the hospital for a long while. Luke feels guilty, he wasn’t there to back him up, but I think he’s doing okay, all things considered.”

“Penelope, let me know if you need anything.” JJ says, pulling me in for a hug.

“Thank you so much for taking care of the boys, that was extremely helpful.”

“You’re welcome.” She says, pulling back.

“Should we go find your brother?” I ask Emilio.

“I’ll text Morgan and let him know you’re ready.” JJ says, pulling out her phone.

I hear little Tony giggles and I say to JJ. “Never mind, I hear him.” They both come in to view, Derek is carrying Tony, tickling him. Tony is squirming and laughing.

“Looks like you two had a lot of fun.” I say to Derek.

“Yeah, this little dude is a lot of fun.” He says.

“Hotch transferred Emilio’s car seat in our SUV. I imagine you want to go to the hotel?” JJ questions.

“Yes. Thanks.”

We all get situated in the truck with Derek in the driver’s seat.

“So, how long have you and Luke been married?” Derek asks.

“Just over a year and a half, we’ve been together for almost 2 years at the end of August.”

“Wow, y’all didn’t waste any time.” Derek says.

“No, we didn’t.” I laugh. “But we love it.”

“Luke talks about you and the kids all the time.”

“Sorry about that.” I laugh.

“I can tell how important you all are to him.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” I say. “How about you, Derek, are you married?”

“Nah.” He says.

“Morgan, here, is kind of a playa.” JJ laughs.

“I just haven’t found the right girl yet.” Derek winks. “You got some good kids.” He says.

“Thanks, we think they’re pretty great.” I say.

“You got some major skills, you definitely lived up to the hype.” Derek says.

“Thanks, Aaron’s been trying to recruit me for years.” I laugh. 

“Well why don’t you accept?”

“I don’t do well with blood and gore, I prefer to see the good in people instead of the monsters. Plus, now I have these guys. I just graduated in spring and Luke’s grandma who was taking care of them went home. So, we’re still figuring out childcare.”

“I get that, that’s tough.” Derek sympathizes. We pull up to the hotel. “Well, it was nice meeting you Penelope. I hope you decide to take Aaron up on his offer. I had a ball with your boys.”

“Thanks, Derek. It was nice meeting you too.”

JJ helps me take the boys and the bags inside and gives me her keycard. The first thing I do is call down to the front desk for another crib. The boys and I play, read books and snuggle for the rest of the morning. I order room service for lunch. After we eat, I put them down for a nap and fall asleep myself.

I’m awakened by Luke wrapping his arms around me.

“Hi,” I say.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says, in a low voice.

“It’s fine. How’s Phil?”

“About the same. They took him to run some more test, so I thought it was a good time to come back here and spend some time with you all.”

“Mmm” I hum in acknowledgement.

“I’ll go back this evening. You go back to sleep. You didn’t get any sleep last night, I’ll take care of the boys for a while this afternoon.”

My only response is a yawn, before drifting back off to sleep. I slowly wake up and luxuriate in the silence. I wonder where everyone is? I lay there for a while before getting my phone out and texting Luke. He walks through the door five minutes later, carrying Anthony and holding Emilio’s hand. He sets the boys on the bed between us with a few toys and books.

“I was getting the keys to the SUV with the car seats. Hotch and the team are flying home this evening. He said he would speak to the director about the Bureau paying for this room for a couple weeks, so I can stay close to Phil, for a little while. Are you okay with that?” Luke asks, holding my hand, not looking at me.

“I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be tough with these guys. But we’ll make it work.”

“You can fly back with the team if you want to.” Luke says.

“I don’t want to just abandon you right now, this is an unbelievably tough time. How about the boys and I commit to staying for the week, then we have a talk about how you’re feeling and what you need emotionally, deal?”

“That sounds good. Thank you, Penelope, for being here for me.” Luke puts his hand around the back of my neck and rests his forehead on mine, with his eyes closed. Emilio climbs into Luke’s lap with a book.

“Read.” He says.

“You want Papa to read this book to you?” Luke asks. “Can you say, ‘please’?

“Peas.”

“Close enough.” Luke chuckles, settling in to read a couple books. Luke eventually goes to take a shower, he comes out of the bathroom lamenting the fact that he didn’t ask me to pack any of his hair products. It’s gotten pretty long, he hasn’t cut it at all since we’ve been together. When it’s wet it falls to his shoulders in big curls. When left without product, it can get a little frizzy and unruly, I’m sure the generic hotel shampoo isn’t going to do good things for his hair either. He finally decides to let me put it in a ponytail, until we can get to the store. Once we’re all dressed and presentable we go out in search of food.

Luke drops us off at the hotel. I end up putting a movie on for the boys, feeling like a horrible mother for occupying them with TV. But, at this point, I’m tired- emotionally, from staying strong for Luke and physically, those few hours I slept this afternoon didn’t do much to make up for the night of sleep I missed. The twins fall asleep in front of the tv, cuddled with me. I put them in their cribs and waste no time going to sleep myself.

I’m awakened hours later by Luke’s body jerking, I can hear him panting before I open my eyes.

“You okay?” I ask, rubbing his arm.

“Yeah, just a bad dream. I think the state that I found Phil in is going to haunt me for a while.” He says, still catching his breath.

“I bet it is. I can only imagine.” I say.

Luke pulls me in closer and kisses me. I put my hand in his now freed hair and scratch at his scalp. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” He says, still peppering me with kisses.

“It’s fine, your nightmares aren’t in your control.”

“I’m so glad you’re here with me.” Luke says, burying his face into my neck. He drops a few kisses on my neck as I continue to run my fingers through his hair.

“I’m glad I can be here for you.” I say.

I wake the next morning and I hear Luke’s voice. Sounds like he’s reading. I open my eyes and see the boys cuddled on either side of him as he reads them a book. I stay perfectly still and just watch for a while. Luke is so good with them, I couldn’t possibly ask for a better father for my children. He so calming and patient, sometimes I’m amazed. Luke finishes the story and I figure it’s a good time to let myself be known.

“Good morning.”

“Goo moing” Tony repeats.

“Good morning.” Luke says, I scoot closer and prop myself up to give him a kiss. Emilio wiggles out of his father’s arm and wraps his arms around my neck. I lay back down and run a hand up and down his back. Luke moves Tony over so that he’s in the middle of the both of us. We spend about 20 minutes all cuddled in bed together, before the twins decide we’re done.

We give the twins a bath and get them dressed. I redo Luke’s hair and I take a quick shower, before going out to breakfast. We’ve ordered and Luke’s phone starts ringing. He pulls it out, checks the caller id and says.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” As he stands from the table. He goes outside the restaurant, I turn back to the boys and catch Anthony just as he tries to put the crayon in his mouth again, encouraging him to color. After a few minutes, Luke comes back in and gives me a kiss on the forehead, before sitting back down.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

“Everything’s fine.” He assures. “That was the assistant director of the bureau. She wouldn’t approve us to stay in the hotel for our stay, but she did grant us use of a safe house in the area. She’s also granting me one week paid leave. So, I guess we’ll assess at the end of the week.”

Our food comes and we get the boys food cut up for them.

“I assume we have to be out by check out this morning?” I ask.

“Yeah, an agent will meet us at the house with a key. The house is kind of in the middle of nowhere.” I nod in acknowledgement. “It makes me nervous to have you guys at that house so far out, all alone, while I’m at the hospital.” Luke finishes.

“Well, we don’t have much of a choice, we can’t afford to pay for that hotel for a week or two. Me and the boys will be okay. I can imagine there would be a security system as an added measure to keep the people who need to use it safe.”

We finish our breakfast and head back to the hotel to pack up and check out. We drive out and Luke insists on checking out the house and surroundings, before letting me and the boys out of the truck. We make a shopping list and head to the store. We unload the car, putting everything away. We put the boys to sleep on the bed between us.

“I’m going to head to the hospital. Will you be okay?” Luke asks.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. I’m going to go online and see where we can rent some cribs and how much it might cost.”

“Why can’t they just stay in here with us?” Luke asks, sitting up.

“I don’t want them to get in the habit of sleeping with us and this bed just isn’t big enough for us all to be comfortable.” I counter.

“You’re right.” Luke says, standing up and walking around the bed. “Let me know what you find, I’ll rent a trailer and pick it up.” He says, before bending down to kiss me. “I’ll miss you.” Luke says, pulling back.

“I’ll miss you too. Tell Phil, I said ‘hi’.”

“I will.” He says, kissing me one more time before walking out.

I carefully get up and grab the laptop, bringing it to the bed with me. I search for baby equipment rentals and send Luke the info on what I find. I also look up a few things to do with the boys while in Arizona.

Luke comes home just as I’m having the boys sit down to eat dinner.

“Hey, everybody having a picnic tonight?” Luke asks, sitting down on the floor with us and giving everyone a kiss.

“It’ll be a picnic while we’re here. It was either set them on the floor on a towel or set them on the island, this seemed safer.” I say.

“We can rent highchairs too, if you want.”

“No, this is fine. We need to save where we can.”

“Do you need me to get anything? Sippy cups?”

“Yeah, if you can grab those that would be great, and can you bring some more carrots for Tony?” Luke comes back with his own plate of food, an extra portion of carrots and sippy cups. “Thank you.” I say. “So, how was your visit today?” I ask.

“It was good, Phil seemed in better spirits today. We just hung out.” Luke shrugs. “I speak from personal experience, being in the hospital sucks, and being there alone, with no visitors, is the worst.”

“He’s lucky to have you.” I say, Luke smiles.

“So, what did you all do this afternoon?” Luke asks.

“We played outside for a while, went on a little walk. These guys kept me company in the kitchen while I made dinner, taking everything out of the cabinets.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Luke chuckles.

“I think we’ll try to go to the library tomorrow, you can drop us off on your way to the hospital.” I say.

“I don’t want you guys going out without me.” Luke says.

“I’m fine with the both of them, I do it every day.” I remind, with an eyeroll.

“It’s not that.” Luke says. “I just don’t trust you all to be out alone.” Luke says.

“You don’t think I can take care of myself and our boys? You don’t trust me?” I question, starting to raise my voice a bit.

“Can we finish this talk after we put the boys to sleep?” I nod. “I picked up the cribs, they’re in the trailer. How about I get them set up and I’ll take the boys with me to drop the trailer off? Give you an hour or so to yourself, maybe you can take a bubble bath.”

“Okay.” I say, standing to get a couple of washcloths to clean the boys’ face and hands.

I have the boys help me clean up the kitchen mess a bit, before they totally lose interest. Once Luke and the boys leave, I finish cleaning the mess and get leftovers put away, I get a load of laundry started and clean up the toys and books all over the house. I turn on the tub to fill while I move the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I get in and sit back, closing my eyes and inhaling the lavender scent of the bubble bath. I try to let go of my hurt and anger towards Luke, I’m sure he’s got a perfectly good excuse for how he feels. I need to calm down and not be so hot headed.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door, 20 or so minutes later.

“Come in.” I say, Luke opens the bathroom door and comes inside, looking nervous. “Are the boys asleep.”

“Yeah, they fell asleep on the ride back.” Luke sits on the edge of the tub and says. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too, for jumping to conclusions and raising my voice.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Luke says. “What I meant just came out all wrong.”

“Well, what did you mean?” I ask in a low voice.

“I meant that I just don’t know if it’s safe out there. If a trained F.B.I. agent can wind up in a hospital bed fighting for his life, that means that nobody is safe.”

I reach out and grab his hand. “I realize that the world feels extra scary right now because of what happened to Phil, but I can’t spend the next week or two cooped up in the house with two toddlers.”

“Are you sure you can’t make it work?” Luke asks. “We can go back to the store and get a few more things to do.”

“Luke, sweetie, that’s not going to work. It’s more than just them being bored with the toys and books we brought with us. Although, you know when our boys get bored, they tend to get into more trouble. This house isn’t set up for toddlers on the loose and I don’t want to spend the whole time we’re here telling them ‘no.’ They need some time to get out and be kids.”

“Intellectually, I know you’re right.” Luke says, looking down. “But….” He trails off. I wait for him to finish and he doesn’t.

“Look, why don’t you take a few minutes to gather your thoughts, while I get out of the bath? We can continue this in bed?” Luke nods, but doesn’t make a move to get up.

I stand in the tub and Luke reaches over to grab me a towel. I step out of the bathtub and put my hand out for the towel. Luke stands up and kisses me. He begins to dry me off, dropping kisses to different parts of my body. He drops to his knees, drying the lower half of my body. He places a few kisses between my legs and winds up bringing me to and orgasm.

He rests his head on my stomach and I run my fingers through his hair. Luke’s breath quickens and his shoulders start to shake.

“I can’t lose you.” Luke breathes out. I wrap my other arm around him and rub his back. 

“Let’s go get in bed.” I suggest after a couple minutes. We stand and make our way to the bed, getting in and covering us both. “I’m not going anywhere, Luke.”

“You can’t say that with certainty.” Luke counters. “Anything can happen to you and the boys at any time.”

“You’re right, it can, but I know how to take care of myself and I wouldn’t let anything happen to our boys.”

“I just, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you and them.”

“I know you’re feeling scared and uncertain right now. I can only assure you that I will do everything in my power to keep us safe. Living our lives stuck in the house wouldn’t be good for anyone. How about me and the boys go out for the mornings? You drop us off and you pick us up. If anything feels off, we leave.”

“I guess that’ll have to be enough.” Luke says.

“I want you to be comfortable too. Is there anything you want to add?” I ask.

“Can you check in periodically? I know I sound like a possessive weirdo, I know you’re very capable. But I don’t know, it’s what I need right now.”

“I can do that.” I say.

We go to sleep and I wake up the next morning, Tuesday, to an empty bed. I put on some clothes and go in search of my boys. I hear voices coming from the room that the boys are sleeping in. I crack the door and see Luke and the twins building block towers. They all yell uh-oh, every time the tower falls and the boys both let out a big belly laugh. Luke looks up and sees me in the door.

“Look guys, Mama’s up. Should we go have some breakfast?” Luke says to the boys.

We each take a boy and head downstairs. We make and eat breakfast and get everyone ready for the day. I can tell that Luke is pretty nervous driving us to the library. I put my hand on his leg and leave it there for the whole ride. We each take a boy out of their car seat and meet on the passenger side.

Luke and I hug, while each still holding a toddler. “I’ll check in. We’ll be okay.” I assure.

He takes a deep breath and nods. He gives the boys each a kiss and gives me a couple, before putting Emilio down and giving me his hand. Luke watches us walk into the library.

We fall into the rhythm over the next few days, with Luke dropping us off for a morning outing. I pepper him with photos of the boys enjoying whatever it is we’re doing that day as a means of checking in. Luke is always beaming when he comes back to get us, seeing us safe and sound. He drives us back to the house, asking us about our morning. We make lunch for the boys and get them down for nap. We spend an hour together and Luke heads back to the hospital for a couple more hours, being sure to come back before I start on dinner, so he can keep an eye on the boys.

Aaron contacts me, thanking me for helping out on the case with Phil. He assures me that a check is on the way to me, the bureau paid me as a freelance consultant. He requests a sit down with me when we get back from Arizona, I agree.

Luke’s had a couple of breakdowns over the week, one when they got word that it was looking like Phil’s paralysis may be permanent. He was pretty quiet and subdued when he came to pick us up from the indoor playground, later that morning. Once the boys were down for their nap, the tears started. The other time, it sounds like Phil was in a mood, according to Luke and they got into a huge fight. He was ready to leave Arizona that afternoon. We talked it out – if Luke thinks he’s under emotional stress, just imagine what Phil’s going through, that got him thinking, he went back that evening and the two made up. 

It’s Saturday afternoon and the boys are down for their naps.

“So, we’ve made it through week one, what are you feeling about staying?” I ask Luke.

“I’d like to stay. It sounds like the doctors are amazed with Phil’s progress and may be willing to transport him back to Virginia the middle of next week, if all continues to go well. I completely understand if you and the boys need to go home.” Luke says.

“Wow, that’s such good news.” I hug Luke.

“Yeah.” He says.

“Well, I guess it makes the most sense for the me and the boys to stay. How are you doing?” I ask Luke.

“I’m okay overall. Still feeling guilty, that’s probably why I spend so much time at the hospital.” Luke says, not looking at me. “Intellectually, I know that it’s not my fault and that things may have turned out the same, even with me out here with him. It’s just hard not to play the ‘what if’ game.” Luke finishes. I nod, Luke puts his arm around me and asks. “So, how are you doing?”

I take a deep breath. “I’m alright.” I smile. “It’s been a little hard, living out of our suitcases and keeping the boys busy, without all our usual stuff around, but we’re managing. I’m pretty exhausted, I’ll be happy to get back to our normal routine.” I say. Luke tightens his hold and kisses my head.

“I’m sorry.” Luke starts. “I really appreciate everything you’ve been doing the past week. I don’t know how I would have made it through the last week, without you. I know I haven’t been doing my part around the house and taking care of you the way that I should, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“You have nothing to make up for, you’re going through and unbelievably hard time. I appreciate everything you have done while we’ve been here.” I assure. We cuddle on the couch for a while longer before Luke leaves for his afternoon hospital visit.

Thursday afternoon, we’re finally heading home. We fly on an F.B.I. jet with Phil. Phil is transported to the local hospital once we land and we drive home. Roxy is excited to see us all after over a week and a half. We spend the afternoon settling back in, Luke and Emilio run to the grocery store. Luke is cooking dinner and I’m getting Roxy’s food dished up for her, when I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Uh-oh!


End file.
